The Big O Gots to Go!

The most popular daytime talk show host is starting to rear around the bin with her final "Favorite Things" episode, which aired this past Friday. Yes, that is right, unfortunately you will not be one of those lucky crazed people in her audience, who hysterically jump up and down, as Oprah tells them about their spa trip, or the Ralph Lauren cardigan, or Royal Caribbean cruise, or home convection oven, or state of the art jet pack, or personal air craft, or diamond encrusted pear shaped vase, or trip to mars ( I think you get the point). No, there will be no more couch jumping, or exclusive Oprah/Crack-tastic Whitney interviews. No Oprah and Gayle road trips across America. No more Doctor Oz showing us how backed up we are. No Julia Roberts interview, or John Travolta interview, or Julia Roberts interview, or John Travolta interview (because they happen at least twice a year). Nope, that will soon be a distant memory.

So some of you are probably asking the question, what the hell are the lowly housewives gonna' do now, with their 4:00pm time slot. How will they ever manage to find the perfect diet plan, the right book for the week, or the right place to eat in po dunk Alabama. If Oprah's not there, who will tell them? You know who? The dozen or so other outlets Oprah has established for herself over the years! Thats who.

Cable companies should be sending Oprah a BIG thank you basket, as countless numbers of women are signing up just to check out her new network (OWN). She has one of the most popular magazines out, which your mom and mine are currently reading and eating every word up like a rich chocolate Haagen Daz bar with almonds. She has dipped her hand into producing movies, which I am sure her name will continually show up on whatever Tyler Perry comes up with. Oprah isn't leaving, she is making sure that her brand, her face, and her legend will withstand the test of time. Quite honestly, it makes me sick. She is the most unimaginable, gravitational, women magnate ever! She has a large base that will follow her wherever she goes, for years to come. Here I am just tryin' to get some of you jokes to read my lil' ole blog (believe me, I'm happy if there's one follower let alone millions).

Here is to an eternity with you Oprah, ya African school openin', charity cash chuckin', life changin', heavenly power havin', president elect influencin', "every body gets a car" bellowing, prolific Joke.

This isn't goodbye, it's hello to you dominating media like nobody's business. We're all watching, as you keep ascending. Jeez...