This Year in Jokes!!!

From: Lindsey Lohan's Free Fall From Grace
The girl has lost her mind more times than I can count. I don't know what will snap her back into reality in the new year, but let's all hope she doesn't get the opportunity to reign in the new year with a bottle of whiskey, or pills, or whatever else she might be able to get her hands on.


To: Glee Making Me Vom on a Weekly Basis

From the GQ cover, to the Jay- Z episode. I feel like I'm on the worst roller coaster ride of number after number and I want the new year to be bringing me some sort of anti- Glee. You can even make it like a stocking stuffer. Just secretly cancel the show and bring me Glee.




From: Four Loko Crackin' us Out
To set the record straight, I didn't have a single drop of this poison.

To: Four Loko Withdrawal as it's Removed From Shelves
I am now proud to say that I will never get the opportunity to drink it. Thank you FDA for realizing what college students were partyin' up to and saving thousands of idiot's lives. One point for FDA.

From: BP Spillin' all Over our Ocean
Wow. What a joke of a story this was. I can't even believe that companies get away with this nonsense.


To: The Glacier Paced cleanup!
Then it took forever for there to be a cleanup. Plus, tell me why with all the best scientist working on this thing, no one was able to figure how to build a man hole cover?

From: Pink Friday
Nicki Minaj blew up! I jumped on the band wagon and haven't got off since. Pink Friday is just too good. Everybody check it out!



To: Black Friday
If you want to be the person who is trampled at 5am, or better yet, the person who tramples an 85 year old grandmother of twelve at 5am, Black Friday is your holiday.







From: Palin's Alaska
The show had so much promise. I am so disappointed. If I wanted to watch a show about fishing I would have tuned in to The Deadliest Catch.




To: Dancin' With The Palin's
I am so glad this is over. I can only hope Bristol fades quickly away. I cannot stand this Palin coalition/ media domination. Make it stop. Thanks. Bye.








From: Hahahahahahaha


To: Hahahahahahaha



Happy New Year to You and Yours!

Cyber Monday: The Holiday Vortex

With the retail massacre of Black Friday, behind us, America now looks to Cyber Monday to give that extra economic boost. Yes, if companies don't get you to cram into their stores and break a hip, as you chuck money from your wallet at any available register for the last Shake Weight, they lure you online so you can snag that rare limited edition Furby.

I can tell you now that I will not be one of those people online, shopping for crap to give my friends and relatives for Christmas. I will not be that person who gets snagged into buying the 500 Ipad because it's the last one left that I can personally monogram. It's not the last one left. You know that they have thousands waiting in the rafters. They just want to drain you dry, so that you remember how poor you really are. So that your credit card companies know how much they can collect in late fees. So that little Timmy gets bread and water for his Christmas dinner and you get air pudding and wind pie.

Don't worry, your new Xbox Connect will comfort you both in your starvation. If Black Friday is the retail massacre, Cyber Monday is the vulture coming back for seconds. I wish all you dopes luck on this tragic Monday, as you sink further into debt. Good Luck on your shopping adventures ya shop till ya drop, credit card circle, lay away jokes!