Oprah Is Gone

Tell me why Oprah's last show was an hour long fortune cookie. There were no gifts, no celebrities, no glitz, no glam. It was just Oprah sittin' up there in her pink flowy god awful expensive dress, inspiring her legion of O zombies with empty inspirational phrases. Thanks big O. Until we meet you on OWN for more useless information again. Ya Miss Cleo spoutin' joke! (Nice Beyonce performance though!)

OWN Is Touching Down

Oprah and her network are coming to a TV near you. Hide your kids . Hide your wife. Cause Oprah taken over everything up in here! The new commercial from the OWN network has surfaced and has reaffirmed what I have been saying for years. Oprah has a heavenly complex.The woman is literally floating through the clouds as she tells us how awesome her network is going to be. They pan around the world to all of these people with smiles from ear to ear. They have balloons flooding from every corner and just as the whole thing raps up with a Time Square take over, you're already hooked. Oprah, you both scare me and inspire me at the same time. I cannot believe how effortless you make world domination look. It's just crazy! O's DAY HITS JANUARY FIRST. THIS IS NOT A JOKE!