Lindsay Lohan: Some Jokes Get Old

Looks as if the deep end is endless, as Ms Lohan has once again fallen. A new report has reaffirmed what we already know. This girl ain't right! By now we all know Lindsay failed her drug test despite her previous trips to rehab and jail time. Now the still young (despite her looks these days) starlet has once again checked into rehab, this time at the Betty Ford Clinic. This raises a question for me... If you don't get off the stuff after you get out of rehab, shouldn't you get your money back? I mean what kind of racket are these rehab centers running anyway, if after 30 days, you still look like the picture above

Anyway the girl is a tremendous, continual train wreck. I often wonder if there is anything left in that vodka soaked brain of hers that tells her the road shes on, is one that won't carry her any further than the flask she probably sneaked into the court hearing, or maybe than the klonopin or whatever prescription drug is still given to her. Most poignantly, lets not forget the top notch parenting of both Mr. and Mrs. Lohan, who I wouldn't trust with a chihuahua, let alone a child.

What becomes of a person when they have no real consequences? Apparently they turn into a hot mess like this one, who has no moral guidance and endless access to every drug known to man. I wouldn't think twice if it was reported that this girl had her own personal key to a pharmacy. Good luck Lindsay where ever life takes you, and hopefully this round at the funny farm will do you some good, ya sad sad joke.

So Who's This Joke? Me!

Think of me as your good friend at the lunch table, or your sibling on a night where nothings on TV but old repeats and new regrettable moments. I am any thought that ever came to your head when you heard, or saw something that was so moronic that it made you angry and laugh at the same time.

I'm a Joke... We are all jokes at some point in our lives and its always good to be able to laugh at yourself and yes, at other people too.

I started this blog to express my opinion on events, people, and the not so smart things that are a result of poor decisions made in the public arena. I started it to have people see those same funny events that they were just utterly dumbfounded by and be able to relate to what I post on These Jokes.

I don't take myself seriously, so you shouldn't either. HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, YA JOKE!

Glee is a Relative Term

I know there is room on TV for a comedy which celebrates song and dance. You know, a little shtick here and some jazz fingers there, topped off with a big number involving all the musical ingenuity of a diva's live concert. This perk fest of an event is enough for one night but to have it weekly in the form of Fox's ever popular Glee is just plain wrong.

The new previews for Glee takes the pep a step further with the cover of Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind, which has already had its day in the sun and doesn't need a come back of epically campy proportions by foe gangster "gleeks" dancing on bleachers. Why? Why? Why? Does this show insist on making me turn the channel as soon as its on. I must say, there does seem to be a market for this particular brand of programming, but I can not support the bright eyed, cracked out facial expressions, teenage angst interpreted through song, and overall hot mess that has encompassed the glee universe.

Seriously, how depressing is it now that the popular thing to due on a Tuesday night, is to sit around with your friends and watch Leah Machele and Cory Montieth explore the depths of "stoop culture" while belting out Jay-Z in full track suit and gold rope chains. Stick to your Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, and Madonna jams, ya prime time, Emmy awarding winning, "ground breaking"JOKES!!!!!

Fashion Week: Where You Can Wear it Your Way But Don't Get Crazy...

Ah the week that makes my heart flutter. When 5'10 goddesses land on my door step just to say hey. No really they're here for for the ever popular New York Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. While these select few will definitely catch your eye, check out the jokes aspiring to be them. I decided to take a stroll over to the palatial Lincoln Center to peep beauty at its best, but was surprised when I delightedly got some straight up comedy.

Firstly, I felt like I could have been at the most highly supped up church gathering, with everybody in their Sunday's best. But this Sunday my friends was a little different from the rest. There were those high roller types with some pretty young thing on the arm. There were girls with hat contraptions, stunna shades of the XL variety, and my favorite, shoes so high and ridiculous that you literally had to bite down on your tongue to hold back from a public outburst of laughter.

I could point out one girl specifically who was dun' up to the nine (all 5'2 of her) teetering on the shoes that were at least 8' off the ground.The look in her face of sheer agony as she weakly tried to mask her pain, sent a warm feeling throughout my body. I kept picturing in my head over and over that at any minute her face would have had an intimate moment with the concrete.

Here is to all of those jokes who would risk bodily harm to look good. If you are physically looking like at any minute, a button will fly off those (on you) not so skinny jeans, a tumble will occur in those not so chic stilts, a bird will make home is that not so inventive nest on top of your head. Please! For the sake of all of us, turn to that mirror( I know you got one if not ten). Pause. Take time to indulge in the teeniest bit of reason, and put those Saw devices back in your closest, or dudgeon, which ever you dug them out of.Save your self some much needed dignity ya high fashion joke!

You've Been Warned:

Oooh Nicki...Not the Bestest( And Will I What???)

MTV's big night occurred yesterday with its grand VMA show in Los Angeles. While there were many highlights from Florence and the Machine's brilliant recreation of the Dog Days are Over video, to the many outfits of the ever inventive Lady Gaga. She pulled off Lord of the Rings mysticism to butcher chic (meat purse?).

However, the only thing I thoroughly got a rise out of last night was the tragic crash and burning of Nicki Minaj's pre-show performance of her new single Check It Out. I could not tell what this potential female superstar to be, was thinking with this tattered patch work of a performance. Nicki, your lyrics are hot, flows even better, but when you steppin' up to the big leagues, you better go harder than whatever that was. One line in Minaj's song states " haters you can kill yourselves". After that performance I am sure haters were jumping off buildings and runnin' to stick there heads in the oven. (Oh and Will I Am huh? )Next time your are invited to perform at an award show Nicki, ( if you get the chance) there are some choreographers, stage mangers, professional dancers, voice coaches, and stylist who definitely need to hook you up. Check that out ya joke.